Lesson 10 of 12 · Leading the conversation

Reading the room

Groups send signals before anyone speaks. Learn to read them, and joining in gets easier.

About 20 minutes
Chapter 10 of the book
Saves on this device

Activity 1 of 5 · Sort

Open or closed?

Before you join a group, read the signals. Sort these.

Group signals

Would joining feel welcome, or like an interruption?

✓ Done

A learner's story

Kwame at the department party

Kwame · postgraduate student from Kumasi · advanced

At his department's welcome party, Kwame walked up to two lecturers who were talking quietly, face to face. He said hello. They smiled politely, gave short answers and returned to their conversation. He felt terrible.

Later, a friend explained: “They were closed. Look for the groups standing in a horseshoe, with a gap. That's an open door.” Kwame found a group of four laughing near the window, with a space at one side. He stood in the gap, listened for a minute, then laughed at a joke and added a comment.

Within five minutes he was part of the group. Same Kwame, different door.

Activity 2 of 5 · Choose

When to join

Timing matters. Choose the best moment to speak.

Moment

✓ Done

Say it

Phrase box

Useful phrases from this chapter. Anything that isn't British English is labelled.

Joining

Mind if I join you?
Sorry to interrupt, are you talking about…?
Can I steal a seat?

Adding in

That's so true.
I had exactly the same thing…
Can I just add something?

Bringing others in

What do you think, Tom?
You've been there, haven't you?
Sorry, you were saying?

Activity 3 of 5 · Play

Join the group

You're at a friend's party. Three people are chatting by the kitchen. Join them.

Kitchen conversation

Watch for the right moment.

✓ Done

Activity 4 of 5 · Build

Your joining-in line

Build a line for joining a group. It goes into your Conversation Kit.

Joining-in builder

Choose the kind of group, then add your details.

✓ Done

The research

The researcher Adam Kendon studied how people stand in groups. He found that conversation groups form a shared space he called an “F-formation”. When there's a gap in the circle, people are open to someone joining; when bodies are turned tightly inwards, they're closed.

Activity 5 of 5 · Say it

Say it aloud

Practise your joining-in line with a smile.

Your joining-in line

Your line comes from the builder.

✓ Done

Before you move on

Three questions

Where do you most often need to join a group?

What signals do you notice in groups now?

Who could you bring into a conversation next time?

5 activities to go

Finish all five activities to complete Lesson 10. Your progress saves on this device, and finished lessons are marked on the lessons page.

What to remember

Five things to keep

Look for a gap: a horseshoe is an open door.
Two people face to face, talking quietly, is usually closed.
Listen first, then add to the topic.
“Mind if I join you?” works almost anywhere.
Bring others in: it makes you the person people want around.

Your answers and progress stay on this device. Nothing is sent anywhere.